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Abandoned Homes

by The Aesthetic

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1.
This house used to be a home. but standing here I feel so alone. I try to keep my head up high, but even though I try, I feel I'm starting to drown. And I want it, I want it, I just wanted to breathe escape these ten thousand screens inside my head. I want it, I want it, I just wanted to breathe Its taking over. It’s consuming me. Dear god I'm screaming Can you hear me? Can you feel me? Do you even care? Day to night night to day, I'm losing faith with every prayer that I pray. I'm sick of drowning, forcing each breath in and out of my chest. My mind is racing, its running circles around the things that you said, I know its empty lies made up by my mind but Im losing control Just let them go! And I want it, I want it, I just wanted to breathe escape these ten thousand screens inside my head. I want it, I want it, I just wanted to breathe Its taking over. It’s consuming me. I can't pretend, that there's not the feel of hell inside me, its wrapped in tightly, I try so hard to breathe but I am being buried alive. I can not let it take over the empty space in my mind, Give me the control that I need, just set me free. Just set me free. I can't pretend, that there's not the feel of hell inside me, its wrapped in tightly. Taking over the spaces inside my head. Give me the control I need! Just set me free! And I want it, I want it, I just wanted to breathe escape these ten thousand screens inside my head. I want it, I want it, I just wanted to breathe Its taking over. It’s consuming me.
2.
Never turn back the clock!   Ill never see your face the same again. You've done me in and only you are to blame.  Eating me away from the inside out. Not a parasite, but a harlots mouth.  I don't wanna think about anything.  I pray for numbness. I beg to feel nothing.  My mind runs circles and all I can think about is the lies you've lied and this fucked up reality  We can never come back from this. We can never turn back the clock, I really just wanted to believe her But she wears the mark…. We can never turn back from this. We can never turn back the clock, I really just wanted to believe her But she wears the mark of the deceiver. Your so careful with your words, Try not to leave a trace. But everyone knows and everyones heard, cause its written all over your face. All the lies, the lies, the lies, that you've lied. They don’t go away just cause you cry. Your sorry’s fall on deaf ears, with the apologies. Cause nothing matters when your still down on your knees. We can never come back from this. We can never turn back the clock, I really just wanted to believe her But she wears the mark…. We can never turn back from this. We can never turn back the clock, I really just wanted to believe her But she wears the mark of the deceiver. We can never come back from, we can never come back from this! You only have yourself to blame.   I wanna take your breath away, never give it back, and watch you die… We can never come back from this. We can never turn back the clock, I really just wanted to believe her But she wears the mark…. We can never turn back from this. We can never turn back the clock, I really just wanted to believe her But she wears the mark of the deceiver.
3.
I am the monster that haunts you in your sleep The negative thoughts that turn to evil happenings You wanna see through my eyes and in my mind. So ill warn you now. I am blind, I am evil, I am the one you're running from So take these words, just Understand exactly what I've done. Nothing can protect us now, It's dead and gone, what's left isn't even human, like a house but not a home. just an empty host, a shell without an open mind to see. Just a silhouette of the people that used to be. When you close your eyes to sleep They will find you in your dreams. I am blind, I am evil, I am the one you're running from So take these words. Understand exactly what I've done. Nothing can protect us now, It's dead and gone, what's left isn't even human, like a house but not a home. “(I am blind, I am evil. x2) I am blind, I am bound by the chains of ignorance. “ “Just open your mind, and let me in.. You can change it all if you just try, try to understand…” “Set us free, set us free, set us free set us free. " Set us free. I am blind, I am evil, I am the one you're running from So take these words. Understand exactly what I've done. Nothing can protect us now, It's dead and gone, what's left isn't even human, like a house but not a home.
4.
She opens her eyes to see another day Wondering if this day will be better than the last. She just wants this pain to go away, and she asks “What did I do to deserve this? When will these feelings stop consuming me, What can I do to bring you back to me, Why can’t I do this right, why can’t I stop the fight, And what the hell is happening? And I can’t explain, My minds ten thousand tv screens but am I to blame for whats wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with me? I Pull back the blinds and let the light shine in, Realize the season has changed and years have gone by, He’s standing here right in front of me but I’m still alone, Holding back the tears, as I satisfy him with a lie.” And he says “You are to blame, Despite everything you’ve made up in your head, And you're not the same as what you used to be.”
 AND SHE IS SCREAMING
“Is there any one out there that can see me? That can save me from myself? I am begging, pleading, Id do anything for you to take this pain away. I am weakening, I only have so much left in me Before the dark consumes me, and I am losing control, I’m fading away… just let me go…. let me fade away.” And he pleads…. “Can you hear me? Can you feel me? Will you please come back to me? Come back to me! And you are not the same, Despite everything that I have said. And you're not to blame. And you are not the same, And you're not to blame.”
5.
“I’m choking on my words as they take you away.  I beg of you, I beg of you please just stay.  I Cant escape this feeling inside of me It's not your time to go So please don't leave.  I try to breathe but my chest is failing me I need you now more than you can believe. Scared, Confused and Lost, and so alone  Wishing nothing but the best for you so you can come home.  I don't want to say goodbye, No not Tonight It's not the right time Come home to me No, I just can’t lose you now, Theres got to be some way, some how I’ve got to figure it out. I try to breathe but my chest is failing me I need you now more than you can believe. Scared, confused, and lost, and so alone  Wishing nothing but the best for you so you can come home.  The waves are crashing down on my head, as I try to drown you with the reddest of roses, Placed together all for you, it was all for you, this is all for you. BUT I know your gone I try to breathe but my chest is failing me I need you now more than you can believe. Scared, confused, and lost, and so alone  Wishing nothing but the best for you so you can come home. 

credits

released March 4, 2016

Vocals/Lyrics - Michael Neil
Produced, Recorded, Mixed and Mastered by Zac Monte of Pravitas Studios - pravitasstudios.com

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